Work today flew by, and kept me on my toes, which was good - who doesn't love it when Monday ends swiftly?
Even going outside at lunch in the drizzle when I forgot my umbrella wasn't that bad, because I was able to read for a little bit before heading back to the office.
The entire day was actually fine, until I walked out the doors of the hospital at 4:35pm and it was black and pouring rain. I love rain, everyone who knows me can attest to that...hell, I even look forward to rain in Dublin whenever I'm over there during spring or fall (best times of year to visit Ireland in my opinion by the way). So what's the deal?! From the moment I stepped off the 155 bus to wait for the C3 community shuttle, I just *knew* that the evening was shot, no matter what else happened. Talk about a self fullfilling prophecy. :(
The community shuttle didn't come, well...it went down the hill and then never came back up. The one that came after it almost drove past me, and then claimed he didn't hear me ring the bell for my stop so almost blew past it. My umbrella was leaking as well....since when do umbrellas leak??
I didn't take this photo, but this is what it looks like out there this evening...it is cold, and POURING rain. So what did cranky little old me do? I drove up to the Sears Clearance Centre, under the misguided notion that I might be able to find a headboard or an a/v stand, or even a new set of sheets - SOMETHING to make me feel like I'd done something this evening. Nevermind the fact that I accomplished a huge amount of things at work today, and I have dozens of things I should be doing at home, no, I needed something else.
I keep trying to find things to feel grateful about, but I keep coming up against my own negativity...despite being aware of the fact that I'm incredibly blessed in my life in so many ways.
So, tonight, I am going to make a concerted effort to find 3 things that I am truly grateful for, and I'm going to focus on them for the next 24 hours if I feel negativity creeping up on me.
2. Healthcare. In August I had a migraine which presented different from many of the other headaches I've had over the last 23 years of suffering from these wondrous little brain gems. It resulted in me making the quick walk across the lobby to the ER at work, and getting examined by a resident, and consequently having a referral sent to the Rapid Access Neurology Clinic at Eagle Ridge Hospital. The neurologist was confident that everything was completely normal, made a few recommendations on supplements I could try taking, and put in a request for an MRI angiogram at the earliest opening. Well, that opening is this Friday at 8pm. I have to say, even though I'm reasonably certain that there is nothing wrong (I've had a head CT done in the past and nothing abnormal showed up, and I haven't had any extreme migraines since the episode in August), I'm nervous and stressed. This may or may not be playing a part in the mood I seem to be in tonight...but, all the same, I am incredibly grateful that this sort of diagnostic testing is available and that the physicians I have dealt with have not been dismissive or apathetic. Nothing to do but wait and see what the tests say eh?
3. Knowledge Network. Ok, this one is silly, but as I sit here trying to come up with profound things to be greateful for...public broadcasting comes to mind. Yet again, the Knowledge Network is playing one of he dozen or so programs hosted by Neil Oliver, an adventurous little Scotsman with longish hair and a penchant for the ancient (which helps in the field of archaeology no doubt! lol). This fellow is just so engaged in every aspect of the topics he presents on, not al of which focus on archaeology...and there's just something soothing about listening to his brogue and the passion as he shares with the world that which has captivated him. I have to say, I end up captivated too! Tonight's program is about Stonehenge, what a topic...and neolithic tombs - which I've visited in Ireland, so it makes it all the more real and immediate to me.
Right, so, there we go...3 things I'm grateful for. What do we think folks? I'm going to attempt to focus on these 3 things for the next day or so, as I finish preparing for the big Board meeting at work Wednesday morning. I pray that I am able to find a small space in my mind to establish a bastion of positive energy as we move into the long, dark, wintery bleakness...and hopefully grow that, or at least not turn all the way to the winter doldrums and grumps this year.
