Well we’ve made it to 2012, and regardless of what the media/conspiracy theorists/Mayan predictions/doomsday floggers say, it’s a new year full of hope. Right?
What does this mean? Renewal? A “fresh start”? These are tricky terms and can mean so many things…
- Out with the old, in with the new…which so often ends up just like the old anyways. After all, we tend towards the familiar and comfortable.
- Resolutions. What a dirty word!! Maybe my best friend is right, don’t have resolutions, set goals – attainable ones at that.
- “Turning over a new leaf”. Some people totally abandon their old rites/routines/preferences in an effort to find something that will work better. After all, isn’t the definition of insanity repeating the same thing over and over yet expecting different results? However, abandoning everything isn’t really the answer either…catch 22 eh?
I for one am working through the concept of renewal and growth on a couple of different levels.
First, I’m working on spiritual renewal and building a foundation there. By the grace of God and the love and support of friends and church family, it’s working, but man is it ever difficult some days!! Couple that with the stress of the holidays and New Year’s and returning to work after a couple of weeks around the house, and it’s enough to do anyone’s head in isn’t it??
Then there’s the physical renewal. It’s the old “I’ll get fit and healthy THIS YEAR” shtick. We all say it, every year, and some make it through a week or two of sticking to it, some a month or two, and some of us fall off the wagon the first week we have to get up for work again. I tend to fall into the group that makes the resolution but never meets a single appointment with her yoga pants…insomnia and responsibilities usually get to me before I muster up the energy.
Third, the general focus of this blog: dating & relating. Aaaah, you knew I had to return to it eventually didn’t you? ;) Given my previous forays in dating, it’s clear that I’ve been using the insanity method. I always expect a different result, despite the fact that I’ve basically been dating the same men over and over, just with different hair styles and emotional issues. I’ve also had some issues with friends over the last several months. One gal who was a recent acquaintance met up with me for girls’ night, then proceeded to tell me how tired she was, and that she’d almost bailed on our plans. By the end of the night I wished she had. When I messaged her thinking she was still in the ladies room at one point I was told she was halfway home on the train and that I “couldn’t treat [her] that way and expect [her] to stay”. Apparently the fact that a couple of guys struck up conversations with me was completely out of line, especially since I talked back. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it! The outcome of her bad mood that evening was me drunk and alone in a Vancouver bar…having to call my parents for a ride home. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, at 29, I had to phone for a ride home because I was ditched and had too much to drink. Also, Granville Street at midnight or later is really not a fun place to be walking alone, I’m just sayin’! That friendship ended by the time I got home, the advent of Facebook and all its shunning powers at work in the middle of the night.
So what is it that draws me to be friends or date people that are clearly not going to work out in the long run? Well, a large part of it is that I want to believe that everyone’s worth my time, has value and could be great to hang out with. The thing is that so many people make great first or second impressions, only to unravel completely when you pull the first stray thread on their façade.
I’ve started looking at friends like hockey teams, and it’s all thanks to one of my hard hitting forwards, a friend who’s relentless in his pursuit of…I’m not sure what, but he occasionally flips to defense, and he’s a solid friend so he’s not going anywhere. I was talking about an acquaintance/casual friend recently, and admittedly complaining about what I felt was boorish behavior (though nothing like the night out incident!), when he asked “Is she a recent acquisition?” I laughed and thought that was pretty apt, especially when she pulled something recently and it occurred to me, the trade deadline’s near…so I texted my friend and told him “I don’t think she’ll make it past the deadline”.
Wouldn’t it be great if the world worked like hockey? Penalties get handed out (unless you’re a Canucks fan…that’s a whole different story for us haha), people serve their minutes, the game goes on. If you’re offside, play’s stopped. If the puck goes out of play, play’s stopped. You know, basic stuff…why can’t relationships be governed like that? I think I may have to start using these guidelines in my life and see where it goes. Instead of 2 minutes for unsportsmanlike conduct, we’ll give 2 days. Not sure what the parameters would be, but I think it’s doable. Might be fun to come up with a
What do you think?
