I couldn't resist tonight, after 3 hours in Metrotown with a guy from Eharmony, who really made me question the legitimacy of their supposedly accurate matches!!
I started communicating with "Bob" through the Eharmony patented "guided communication" about 4 days ago. We quickly moved over to our regular email addresses, but he didn't want to talk endlessly online because he said he was more energetic and personable in person. This didn't seem odd, lots of guys don't like online communication all that much, and generally can't seem to spell at more than a 4th grade level, which makes reading their communiques less than stimulating. We made plans to meet this evening for coffee at the Metrotown Chapter's Starbucks, and continued communicating the last couple of days via email off and on...despite his protestations against emailing much...with him initiating the online communication daily. Okie dokie.
I have to say, the long (as in 5-7 hours) gaps between emails seemed a tad strange to me in this uber connected day and age...but I figured he was busy working or something, or meeting other gals from the site or something, nothing outrageous.
I showed up at the mall early, so I could do some browsing (I do loooove my books mmmm), and when I spotted Bob, I was a tad disappointed... Why is it that men never seem to update their dating profile photos? Oh, sure, his face looked the same, same haircut...but I'd wager his photos (which I thought were reasonably cute) are at least 2-3 years old, which in many cases isn't a big deal - I myself haven't changed much in the last several years, in some cases appearing to age backwards it seems :p - but it's the weight that had changed. In his photos I would have described him as "sturdy", but the fellow I encountered in Starbucks was more on the hefty side...which I learned is due partially to 4+ Timmy's double doubles a day, constant fast food and various other bad habits. Now, I know, people in glass houses, etc, BUT I update my photos every few months and make sure they're an accurate representation of me physically. No guy will ever have cause to say "you don't look like your picture" to me!!
We started talking and it was clear to me that something was up...it turns out he's not from here, he's from Alberta, and he's out here "at a wellness course for a couple of months" and once that's done he's going to work on a big project back in Edmonton, and then he'll move out here because it will provide better balance for him which will keep him on an even keel and then he won't need to do things like take 2 months off to go learn how to live right and make healthier choices and decompress. Apparently this "course" is in a compound, and you have to do chores and group work and feelings talks and journaling and there's no cell phones allowed and limited internet use, and on and on. Anyone else thing that sounds a helluva lot like rehab????
It also turns out he has quite an extensive knowledge of the BC drug trade, and players in certain areas and who controls what...always interesting to find out :p What's a farm boy from Alberta doing with THAT knowledge? Makes me wonder what business he'd be doing out here!
It gets better...in his mid 20's he was driving drunk and leapt a highway, then plowed into a wall at 150kph and nearly died...and he didn't even get charged with anything! He was also pretty proud of all the impaired charges his "very expensive, very good" lawyers had gotten him out of, on all sorts of technicalities. The kicker was learning later that he has a BC driver's license, even though he was born and raised in AB and lives and works there now...know why he keeps it? Because the bulk of his driving (of course) is in AB, and therefore charges and tickets don't go on his BC license, he just pays them off. What. The. Frell. Seriously...I cannot even make his crap up.
He also had a Tinder incident with his ex...as in she found out he was on Tinder while they were together. His justification? He wasn't meeting up and having sex or anything, he was just chatting and looking...yeah...no. Wow.
I could go on and on and on...he has a totally normal family, his brothers are doctors and other professionals, his sister is studying law...he's super smart himself, but apparently just doesn't use his brain at all. Boggles the mind!!
He insisted on walking me to my car in the underground, so he could be sure I wouldn't get mugged...I was honestly afraid he was going to make a move, and all I could think was "is that the start of a cold sore on his lip?" He was pretty jittery after 2 giant coffees, and I made my excuses about having to be up at 6am for work...and he went off to catch the skytrain back to the compound...I'm still not sure where exactly that is, but hey, ignorance may be bliss.
I guess a guy in rehab is several steps up from the shatter junkie who tried his darnedest to move in on my whole life in the 8 days we went out last summer...or the Brazilian Hank Moody wannabe in 2014 who was seeing multiple women at the same time. At least now I'm seeing the red flags ahead of time haha Now the key is just moving away and ending communication. I highly doubt I'll see Bob again, which is probably for the best. The dude even knows what drug/street gangs started in my town...that creeped me out ore than a little, SO not a good sign :p
Still holding out hope that I'll meet a nice, reasonably sane, non-addict, nerdy, slightly left of center kind of guy...preferably one without a checkered past or insane exes with kids...I know, I'm asking a lot aren't I?? ;)
Back into the trenches...
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