So, a little bit of shameless self-promotion...
I am having trouble marketing my handicrafts, but since I have both a Facebook page AND an Etsy shop, I thought I'd share them with all of you (because there are so many of you ;) lol).
My Etsy shop can be found at https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/JuneBugs?ref=si_shop
My Facebook page can be found at https://www.facebook.com/JuneBugsBC
Visit, buy, share, promote! I look forward to hearing from you all soon!!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Skewed importance given digital time...
So, just a short post today, but I thought that this subject warranted some sort of discussion when it popped into my head last night.
I'm in a few different social groups on one level or another...a metaphysics focused book club, my church, friends I've met working at the university over the years, friends from high school, friends from my travels, etcetera Recently I added an acquaintance from one of these circles on Facebook. I figured that since we spend time together in real life, and we've exchanged ideas and laughs and have friends in common, well why not. Social media is after all how a lot of communication and exchange of ideas happen.
Last night I thought "I haven't gotten a response from person x yet, I'll take a peek at their profile..." When I got to said profile, the friend request button once again said "+1 Add Friend", not "Friend Request Pending". Huh.
I sat there for a minute and pondered this, because I had just seen this person a few days earlier and laughed and chatted one on one and in a group. The conclusion I came to was this: I'm not worthy of their digital time. I know, it's a bizarre notion...but we all make determinations of who we will share our digital selves with, either by utilizing security settings, or watching what we post where and when, or who we allow access to our profiles and pages.
The thing that bothers me most about this particular situation isn't the fact that they have decided to (quite obviously) exclude me from online contact. The part that bothers me most is how skewed our society has become towards the "importance" of online and the digital world. My mother and grandmother complain about it constantly, how our generation has no sense of how to behave properly, of manners, or sensitivity towards others who aren't immersed in the digital age. They may actually be on to something...
When I add a person on Facebook or other social media, it's because I have met them at some point in the real world, even if it was only a chance meeting at a book signing or something like that. If I wouldn't happily engage you in conversation face to face, why would I share my vacation photos or my angsts and triumphs with you? As a result, I have pared my "friends" list down to around 150 people, all of whom I consider at least an acquaintance, the bulk though are friends and family.
What this person has done, and many others (think of those people who have thousands of "friends"...what is that all about, really?!), is disconnect from real human relationships to a large degree. If you will spend time with someone in real life and discuss important events or break bread with them, what on earth could be so important about your Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn or any other social media or online messaging, that you wouldn't share with them?
I think it's time for people to reevaluate their priorities. I know I will definitely be looking at certain people I encounter in my daily life who have imposed online embargoes on people in a different light.
Thoughts? Comments.
I'm in a few different social groups on one level or another...a metaphysics focused book club, my church, friends I've met working at the university over the years, friends from high school, friends from my travels, etcetera Recently I added an acquaintance from one of these circles on Facebook. I figured that since we spend time together in real life, and we've exchanged ideas and laughs and have friends in common, well why not. Social media is after all how a lot of communication and exchange of ideas happen.
Last night I thought "I haven't gotten a response from person x yet, I'll take a peek at their profile..." When I got to said profile, the friend request button once again said "+1 Add Friend", not "Friend Request Pending". Huh.
I sat there for a minute and pondered this, because I had just seen this person a few days earlier and laughed and chatted one on one and in a group. The conclusion I came to was this: I'm not worthy of their digital time. I know, it's a bizarre notion...but we all make determinations of who we will share our digital selves with, either by utilizing security settings, or watching what we post where and when, or who we allow access to our profiles and pages.
The thing that bothers me most about this particular situation isn't the fact that they have decided to (quite obviously) exclude me from online contact. The part that bothers me most is how skewed our society has become towards the "importance" of online and the digital world. My mother and grandmother complain about it constantly, how our generation has no sense of how to behave properly, of manners, or sensitivity towards others who aren't immersed in the digital age. They may actually be on to something...
When I add a person on Facebook or other social media, it's because I have met them at some point in the real world, even if it was only a chance meeting at a book signing or something like that. If I wouldn't happily engage you in conversation face to face, why would I share my vacation photos or my angsts and triumphs with you? As a result, I have pared my "friends" list down to around 150 people, all of whom I consider at least an acquaintance, the bulk though are friends and family.
What this person has done, and many others (think of those people who have thousands of "friends"...what is that all about, really?!), is disconnect from real human relationships to a large degree. If you will spend time with someone in real life and discuss important events or break bread with them, what on earth could be so important about your Facebook, Myspace, LinkedIn or any other social media or online messaging, that you wouldn't share with them?
I think it's time for people to reevaluate their priorities. I know I will definitely be looking at certain people I encounter in my daily life who have imposed online embargoes on people in a different light.
Thoughts? Comments.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Time fliiiiiiiiiiiies!!
Wow, it's August 1. My last post looks to have been February...soooo much has happened since then!
I am not, however, going to try to fill you in on all of it in detail...suffice to say there have been dating experiences, there have been concerts, family turmoil, lots of new craft/sewing projects, and struggles in faith and community. Whew. Crazy times!!
2 weeks ago I did the South (first) peak of the Stawamus Chief in Squamish, BC. Wow. I'm so pleased that I survived the hike/slog/death march up and down that mountain!!! This was something I didn't think I'd manage, and is *technically* part of training for the Grouse Grind (I've been talking about doing this for over a year now haven't I...well I do mean to do it! Honest! lol).
Last weekend I hiked around Buntzen Lake in Anmore/Belcarra region. It's an 8km ish hike, and we did an extra 1km and I swam at the beach we hit after a couple hours. That was a good long hike, and it was varied terrain, as opposed to 2.5km straight up the side of a mountain *groans*
I think I'll try to mix it up a bit the next few weeks, and the plan is to hit Mercer Stadium in New West a few nights a week to do the stairs. The stairmaster is not an adequate training tool for large, uneven, stone and root stairs on trails like the Chief and the Grind.
I'm still working on some issues in my life, and boundaries are still not my strong suit, but hopefully in a month or two I'll be on a more even footing there. Maybe then I can look at taking on another activity or two...how else will I ever meet single men? Certainly not at church lol
So, there we go! Brief update and some forward thinking...
ps. Oh yeah, I started off on a 40 day prayer pact with a gal I know through my metaphysics focused book club...and I think I'm going to extend it to 365 days. Hopefully after that it will just be second nature! *fingers crossed*
I am not, however, going to try to fill you in on all of it in detail...suffice to say there have been dating experiences, there have been concerts, family turmoil, lots of new craft/sewing projects, and struggles in faith and community. Whew. Crazy times!!
2 weeks ago I did the South (first) peak of the Stawamus Chief in Squamish, BC. Wow. I'm so pleased that I survived the hike/slog/death march up and down that mountain!!! This was something I didn't think I'd manage, and is *technically* part of training for the Grouse Grind (I've been talking about doing this for over a year now haven't I...well I do mean to do it! Honest! lol).
Last weekend I hiked around Buntzen Lake in Anmore/Belcarra region. It's an 8km ish hike, and we did an extra 1km and I swam at the beach we hit after a couple hours. That was a good long hike, and it was varied terrain, as opposed to 2.5km straight up the side of a mountain *groans*
I think I'll try to mix it up a bit the next few weeks, and the plan is to hit Mercer Stadium in New West a few nights a week to do the stairs. The stairmaster is not an adequate training tool for large, uneven, stone and root stairs on trails like the Chief and the Grind.
I'm still working on some issues in my life, and boundaries are still not my strong suit, but hopefully in a month or two I'll be on a more even footing there. Maybe then I can look at taking on another activity or two...how else will I ever meet single men? Certainly not at church lol
So, there we go! Brief update and some forward thinking...
ps. Oh yeah, I started off on a 40 day prayer pact with a gal I know through my metaphysics focused book club...and I think I'm going to extend it to 365 days. Hopefully after that it will just be second nature! *fingers crossed*
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Lesson or blessing?
Soooo...I think this will be the last entry regarding our confusing friend Sean (http://gorgeousingreengrowth.blogspot.ca/2013/01/why-cant-i-just-meet-nice-anglican-man.html and the others referenced therein).
I've tried messaging him casually a couple of times since Christmas, asking how his move was going...how his holidays were, that sort of stuff. I've gotten monosyllabic answers and brush-offs like "I'm still mid-move" (15 days after his move date hrm...).
So today I bit the bullet and sent him a text that I vowed to myself would be my last attempt to reach out and see where the heck things are at (considering we made out and snuggled and he was so awesome and it *seemed* like maybe there was something there after all these years...) after all, a gal's gotta know right?
So I said I was thinking of him and thought I'd say hi. He wrote back "Hi. I'm in unpacking chaos" So I said "Ooh brutal, I'd offer to help but I wouldn't be much help. If you ever want any company in the chaos let me know :) Think I'm off for a hot bath post snowshoeing" He said "I think I'll be ok, just a lot of stuff to move around". So I decided to wrap the convo up and said I was about to settle in for a movie post soak and hopefully he's organized enough to hang out sometime in the near future.
Sean: "Ok, but as friends. Hope that's ok."
What. The. @*$# ?!?!?! Seriously?!? He comes over and makes a move and acts all cuddly and interested and says we'll get together again, and 5 weeks later it's "just friends" as though I initiated or had the expectation of more????
So I calmly wrote back "Ah, ok, sure :) wasn't sure where we left it after Christmas. We had fun though, so it's all good. I'm going to get organized and make dinner though, and you know where to find me, so happy unpacking! :D" Suuuuuuuuure it was overly cheerful with a tinge of F*** off you bastard to it, but whatever, it is what it is!
Sean: "Sorry if you got confused. We hung out a little, and it was fun"
We ....I'm sorry "We hung out a little and it was fun"?! He decided to go when I wouldn't go past making out...does this sound like a mature 32 year old here? To me it seems like a jilted teenager sulking about not getting to round the bases (remember he's the one that used that analogy :p ugh).
So, I wrote back one final note before putting my phone down "Like I said, we had fun. We're good" That is the last message I will send to him. If he messages and wants to hang out I will think very carefully before doing so, and I will ONLY do so as a friend...but quite frankly, given our history it's just so not going to happen. We've been screwing each other around emotionally for 6 or so years, we're not going to ever be able to be friends in truth, and clearly he's not the right guy for me or he would have shown it over the years instead of trying to push my boundaries and then being a dick when I stopped him.
Time to find a man who's mature, intelligent, has a strong faith life, ambition and plans for the future, and one who appreciates the fact that I'm an opinionated, sometimes lazy, occasionally overwhelming but considerate, loving, nurturing, sarcastic, quirky, woman with a faith life she loves who wants a man to complement her life, not be her life. Is it too much to ask to meet a man who I can have endless conversations about either grave world issues or something stupid like tv characters, but still have a spark, romance, and at the end of the day just a companionable respect and friendship? Hmm...guess we'll see what God has in store for me this year eh?
Either way, I'm going to live by the following saying from now on when it comes to people in my life:
"We met for a reason: you're either a blessing or a lesson". I now realize that Sean was a series of lessons and I'm finally learning what I was meant to learn. :) That feels great.
Off to groan and moan about the muscle pain from my long snowshoe trek today...can't wait for next week's go round :D
I've tried messaging him casually a couple of times since Christmas, asking how his move was going...how his holidays were, that sort of stuff. I've gotten monosyllabic answers and brush-offs like "I'm still mid-move" (15 days after his move date hrm...).
So today I bit the bullet and sent him a text that I vowed to myself would be my last attempt to reach out and see where the heck things are at (considering we made out and snuggled and he was so awesome and it *seemed* like maybe there was something there after all these years...) after all, a gal's gotta know right?
So I said I was thinking of him and thought I'd say hi. He wrote back "Hi. I'm in unpacking chaos" So I said "Ooh brutal, I'd offer to help but I wouldn't be much help. If you ever want any company in the chaos let me know :) Think I'm off for a hot bath post snowshoeing" He said "I think I'll be ok, just a lot of stuff to move around". So I decided to wrap the convo up and said I was about to settle in for a movie post soak and hopefully he's organized enough to hang out sometime in the near future.
Sean: "Ok, but as friends. Hope that's ok."
What. The. @*$# ?!?!?! Seriously?!? He comes over and makes a move and acts all cuddly and interested and says we'll get together again, and 5 weeks later it's "just friends" as though I initiated or had the expectation of more????
So I calmly wrote back "Ah, ok, sure :) wasn't sure where we left it after Christmas. We had fun though, so it's all good. I'm going to get organized and make dinner though, and you know where to find me, so happy unpacking! :D" Suuuuuuuuure it was overly cheerful with a tinge of F*** off you bastard to it, but whatever, it is what it is!
Sean: "Sorry if you got confused. We hung out a little, and it was fun"
We ....I'm sorry "We hung out a little and it was fun"?! He decided to go when I wouldn't go past making out...does this sound like a mature 32 year old here? To me it seems like a jilted teenager sulking about not getting to round the bases (remember he's the one that used that analogy :p ugh).
So, I wrote back one final note before putting my phone down "Like I said, we had fun. We're good" That is the last message I will send to him. If he messages and wants to hang out I will think very carefully before doing so, and I will ONLY do so as a friend...but quite frankly, given our history it's just so not going to happen. We've been screwing each other around emotionally for 6 or so years, we're not going to ever be able to be friends in truth, and clearly he's not the right guy for me or he would have shown it over the years instead of trying to push my boundaries and then being a dick when I stopped him.
Time to find a man who's mature, intelligent, has a strong faith life, ambition and plans for the future, and one who appreciates the fact that I'm an opinionated, sometimes lazy, occasionally overwhelming but considerate, loving, nurturing, sarcastic, quirky, woman with a faith life she loves who wants a man to complement her life, not be her life. Is it too much to ask to meet a man who I can have endless conversations about either grave world issues or something stupid like tv characters, but still have a spark, romance, and at the end of the day just a companionable respect and friendship? Hmm...guess we'll see what God has in store for me this year eh?
Either way, I'm going to live by the following saying from now on when it comes to people in my life:
"We met for a reason: you're either a blessing or a lesson". I now realize that Sean was a series of lessons and I'm finally learning what I was meant to learn. :) That feels great.
Off to groan and moan about the muscle pain from my long snowshoe trek today...can't wait for next week's go round :D
Monday, January 28, 2013
Winter fun
So, it's time to throw myself back into sharing ridiculously useless information with my nearest, dearest, furthest and the general population of the internet. Yay?
Let's see...what to say about the last...well, month I guess?
1) Going back to work on January 2nd after a shitty NYE night out and almost 2 weeks off work sucked so much worse than expected.
2) I FINALLY saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Sure they add a ton of crap that wasn't in the actual Hobbit, and there are some scenes that could be shortened without damaging any of the storyline/feel of it...but it's beautiful and it has a fantastic cast. Loved it.
3) I got some new fabrics and have a couple new projects on the go. One colleague has ordered oven mitts and pot holders (after ordering $180 of stuff for Christmas gifts back in November...so I think I'll do my best to keep her coming back! lol). Another has asked me to make a political figure voodoo doll, since I've started making anti-Valentine's day ones...we'll see if the political one turns out...
4) I'm going to start going to a reading group that a couple of friends I attend mass with are a part of...and I'm not sure but I think it may be over my head. Definitely an interesting book/topic, I just hope I can keep up! lol
5) I got to see my niece Miss B again last weekend...which was a ridiculously overdue visit, since I hadn't seen her in a month...I see my god son A more. Oh well.
6) The NHL lockout ended!!!!!!! Too bad my Canucks aren't the best in the league anymore...grrr....
7) Most importantly: I tried snow shoeing yesterday up at Grouse Mountain. Oh. My. God. That was the most fun I've had in the snow in a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery long time!!! Finally, an outdoor activity (and a winter one no less!!) that I enjoy. : D I'm hoping to do it at least once a week for the rest of the winter. I think it'd be a great thing for me to do, especially because I found it fun instead of onerous.
And a final note...I was told yesterday that my blog is reminiscent of Bridget Jones, and then later that I'm kind of like Liz Lemon...urgh. As crummy as that might be on the surface, Bridget gets her Mr. Darcy in the end...so I just have to sift through all the Daniels...ugh no more Daniels...let's see how February goes??
Let's see...what to say about the last...well, month I guess?
1) Going back to work on January 2nd after a shitty NYE night out and almost 2 weeks off work sucked so much worse than expected.
2) I FINALLY saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Sure they add a ton of crap that wasn't in the actual Hobbit, and there are some scenes that could be shortened without damaging any of the storyline/feel of it...but it's beautiful and it has a fantastic cast. Loved it.
3) I got some new fabrics and have a couple new projects on the go. One colleague has ordered oven mitts and pot holders (after ordering $180 of stuff for Christmas gifts back in November...so I think I'll do my best to keep her coming back! lol). Another has asked me to make a political figure voodoo doll, since I've started making anti-Valentine's day ones...we'll see if the political one turns out...
4) I'm going to start going to a reading group that a couple of friends I attend mass with are a part of...and I'm not sure but I think it may be over my head. Definitely an interesting book/topic, I just hope I can keep up! lol
5) I got to see my niece Miss B again last weekend...which was a ridiculously overdue visit, since I hadn't seen her in a month...I see my god son A more. Oh well.
6) The NHL lockout ended!!!!!!! Too bad my Canucks aren't the best in the league anymore...grrr....
7) Most importantly: I tried snow shoeing yesterday up at Grouse Mountain. Oh. My. God. That was the most fun I've had in the snow in a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery long time!!! Finally, an outdoor activity (and a winter one no less!!) that I enjoy. : D I'm hoping to do it at least once a week for the rest of the winter. I think it'd be a great thing for me to do, especially because I found it fun instead of onerous.
And a final note...I was told yesterday that my blog is reminiscent of Bridget Jones, and then later that I'm kind of like Liz Lemon...urgh. As crummy as that might be on the surface, Bridget gets her Mr. Darcy in the end...so I just have to sift through all the Daniels...ugh no more Daniels...let's see how February goes??
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Why can't I just meet a nice Anglican man..?
So, do we all remember "Sean" from this post: http://gorgeousingreengrowth.blogspot.ca/2012/06/14-weeks-to-30-wednesday-recycling-or.html ?
Well, he's resurfaced.
I had finally accepted that whatever might have been wasn't meant to be. After 6 years or so or back and forth, attitudes, egos, hurt feelings and bs...that experimental evening pretty much crystallized it all in my mind.
Mid-November I got a perfectly nice text asking how I was, and I foolishly thought maybe he was attempting friendship as I'd suggested we attempt prior to our last encounter. After a few pleasantries he asked flat out if I was "interested in round 2?" Ah, the real reason for contact. Now remember, I never slept with him, but we did get close. At any rate, I politely declined, explaining that I'm no longer messing around or being silly, I have a baby god son now and I'm determined to start doing things right and want to date/find someone to settle down with. He said it was all good, and that was that. I was pretty proud of myself I must admit! All in all I figured I would never hear from Sean again, reasonable assumption - right?
On Dec. 15 as I was busily making dinner for an evening with my dad, and preparing for a night with AJ and baby A as well, I got a text from Sean. "Hey, looking for someone to go see a flick with tonight, hobbit mostly. Interested?" He's never asked me to go to a movie as long as we've talked or hung out (sporadic though it's been over the years...) and this really knocked me for a loop. I had to say that while I'd love to see The Hobbit, I was booked back to back that night, but maybe another time. Interestingly enough he replied that maybe he wouldn't see it that night after all and he'd let me know if he didn't go. Now, call me crazy, but you say you want to go to a specific movie on a specific night, and when I can't go say you might not go? That sounds suspiciously as though it was just an attempt to spend time together. Call me crazy...I said to let me know next time and mentioned a few nights over the holidays I was going to be free.
December 23rd text string:
8:38pm Sean: What you up to tonight?
9:16pm Me: Chilling. Was decorating my mom's tree.
9:16pm Sean: Ah. Was going to see if you wanted to hang out.
9:18pm Me: Oh, sorry I took so long to respond lol My phone was downstairs.
9:19pm Sean: I just started a movie. Just.
9:19pm Me: Ah well I shouldn't keep you! :)
9:21pm Sean: It's just on credits. What are you doing?
and it goes on from there... in the end he came over to watch a movie (because I was too lazy to go to his place, and the last time we had talked much he had a live-in girlfriend and I was in no mood to enter into an odd situation...)
He was SO NORMAL, and nice when he arrived. It was sort of disarming. He asked if I wanted help with the dishes I'd just put on to soak, and when I made cocoa he lingered and tried to be useful. He even complimented me on the weight I've lost and expressed interest in my activities and interests. It was downright bizarre. Turns out he's moving closer, had just signed a new lease starting January 15th that evening. He and the girlfriend are totally quits, she's been living at a friend's place for ages, and he likened the breakup to a long term ICU patient...rough stuff, but apparently they're still friends (because I *really* care?!). So we settled in with cocoa to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, because hello it's a classic! It didn't take long for him to cuddle up and before long he asked if I wanted to lay down and relax. I've now learned that couches - especially smaller "condo sized" models - are not really great for 2 adults to lie comfortably on. But I will admit that it was very nice and cozy, and felt all relationship-ey. He didn't make any moves, we joked about the movie and laughed and had fun...it was really nice...
After the movie he made a move, and I allowed it because I'll admit I wanted to kiss him and there was definitely a moment. But I stuck to my guns on my limits like I'd told him in November, and when he questioned why I said simply "what kind of girl would I be if I didn't stick to my principles?" and to his credit he just agreed, and went back to kissing me. I even said I was so content I could fall asleep right there and he indulged me for a while...another surprise.
So, this all sounds promising and respectful and like things might actually have potential right?? Except after that I didn't hear from him at all. I went a full week without a word from him...and the friend I was going out with for New Year's eve had an extra ticket, so I figured I'd run with the ball on this and ask him on the 30th if he had plans. Turns out he didn't but had friends to check with and would get back to me...and he didn't. When I messaged him he said he forgot to get back to me and was going to just hang out with friends. Now, who turns down a free ticket to a party downtown on New Year's eve with a woman they've expressed interest in merely a week before? All I can think is that he actually thought he could sweet talk me into breaching my boundaries that night, and when I didn't he decided it wasn't worth the effort. I don't want to be negative, but that's the only way I can make this work in my head, especially when I messaged him today to ask if he'd been to see The Hobbit in the end and his response was "I did. It was good." Nice. Just a stupid little thing...but...do I respond if he ever messages again, or ignore him? Do I message him at some point and act totally casual and like I don't care? I really really REALLY don't know what I'm doing with a situation like this, but I'm fairly sure it's not one I want to be in.
I think he's going to keep popping up as long as I let him, and in the end he's not the right guy for me. I want to be with a man of faith, preferably someone who shares my faith because it's such an important part of my life. Someone that doesn't say it's not any fun not rounding the bases when I say I want to keep things at a certain level...we're not 15...are we?!
I'll have to think on this, but not too much. If I think about it too much I'll find a way to rationalize staying in touch or making a decision I'll regret, and that's not worth it at all.
Why can't I just meet a nice Anglican man?!?! Well, a nice man in general at this point...sheesh!
Well, he's resurfaced.
I had finally accepted that whatever might have been wasn't meant to be. After 6 years or so or back and forth, attitudes, egos, hurt feelings and bs...that experimental evening pretty much crystallized it all in my mind.
Mid-November I got a perfectly nice text asking how I was, and I foolishly thought maybe he was attempting friendship as I'd suggested we attempt prior to our last encounter. After a few pleasantries he asked flat out if I was "interested in round 2?" Ah, the real reason for contact. Now remember, I never slept with him, but we did get close. At any rate, I politely declined, explaining that I'm no longer messing around or being silly, I have a baby god son now and I'm determined to start doing things right and want to date/find someone to settle down with. He said it was all good, and that was that. I was pretty proud of myself I must admit! All in all I figured I would never hear from Sean again, reasonable assumption - right?
On Dec. 15 as I was busily making dinner for an evening with my dad, and preparing for a night with AJ and baby A as well, I got a text from Sean. "Hey, looking for someone to go see a flick with tonight, hobbit mostly. Interested?" He's never asked me to go to a movie as long as we've talked or hung out (sporadic though it's been over the years...) and this really knocked me for a loop. I had to say that while I'd love to see The Hobbit, I was booked back to back that night, but maybe another time. Interestingly enough he replied that maybe he wouldn't see it that night after all and he'd let me know if he didn't go. Now, call me crazy, but you say you want to go to a specific movie on a specific night, and when I can't go say you might not go? That sounds suspiciously as though it was just an attempt to spend time together. Call me crazy...I said to let me know next time and mentioned a few nights over the holidays I was going to be free.
December 23rd text string:
8:38pm Sean: What you up to tonight?
9:16pm Me: Chilling. Was decorating my mom's tree.
9:16pm Sean: Ah. Was going to see if you wanted to hang out.
9:18pm Me: Oh, sorry I took so long to respond lol My phone was downstairs.
9:19pm Sean: I just started a movie. Just.
9:19pm Me: Ah well I shouldn't keep you! :)
9:21pm Sean: It's just on credits. What are you doing?
and it goes on from there... in the end he came over to watch a movie (because I was too lazy to go to his place, and the last time we had talked much he had a live-in girlfriend and I was in no mood to enter into an odd situation...)
He was SO NORMAL, and nice when he arrived. It was sort of disarming. He asked if I wanted help with the dishes I'd just put on to soak, and when I made cocoa he lingered and tried to be useful. He even complimented me on the weight I've lost and expressed interest in my activities and interests. It was downright bizarre. Turns out he's moving closer, had just signed a new lease starting January 15th that evening. He and the girlfriend are totally quits, she's been living at a friend's place for ages, and he likened the breakup to a long term ICU patient...rough stuff, but apparently they're still friends (because I *really* care?!). So we settled in with cocoa to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, because hello it's a classic! It didn't take long for him to cuddle up and before long he asked if I wanted to lay down and relax. I've now learned that couches - especially smaller "condo sized" models - are not really great for 2 adults to lie comfortably on. But I will admit that it was very nice and cozy, and felt all relationship-ey. He didn't make any moves, we joked about the movie and laughed and had fun...it was really nice...
After the movie he made a move, and I allowed it because I'll admit I wanted to kiss him and there was definitely a moment. But I stuck to my guns on my limits like I'd told him in November, and when he questioned why I said simply "what kind of girl would I be if I didn't stick to my principles?" and to his credit he just agreed, and went back to kissing me. I even said I was so content I could fall asleep right there and he indulged me for a while...another surprise.
So, this all sounds promising and respectful and like things might actually have potential right?? Except after that I didn't hear from him at all. I went a full week without a word from him...and the friend I was going out with for New Year's eve had an extra ticket, so I figured I'd run with the ball on this and ask him on the 30th if he had plans. Turns out he didn't but had friends to check with and would get back to me...and he didn't. When I messaged him he said he forgot to get back to me and was going to just hang out with friends. Now, who turns down a free ticket to a party downtown on New Year's eve with a woman they've expressed interest in merely a week before? All I can think is that he actually thought he could sweet talk me into breaching my boundaries that night, and when I didn't he decided it wasn't worth the effort. I don't want to be negative, but that's the only way I can make this work in my head, especially when I messaged him today to ask if he'd been to see The Hobbit in the end and his response was "I did. It was good." Nice. Just a stupid little thing...but...do I respond if he ever messages again, or ignore him? Do I message him at some point and act totally casual and like I don't care? I really really REALLY don't know what I'm doing with a situation like this, but I'm fairly sure it's not one I want to be in.
I think he's going to keep popping up as long as I let him, and in the end he's not the right guy for me. I want to be with a man of faith, preferably someone who shares my faith because it's such an important part of my life. Someone that doesn't say it's not any fun not rounding the bases when I say I want to keep things at a certain level...we're not 15...are we?!
I'll have to think on this, but not too much. If I think about it too much I'll find a way to rationalize staying in touch or making a decision I'll regret, and that's not worth it at all.
Why can't I just meet a nice Anglican man?!?! Well, a nice man in general at this point...sheesh!
2013
Wow...what a year 2012 was...
And just like that it's over. The Mayan long count calendar ended on December 21 aaaaaand hey look! We're all still here. Surprise!! ; )
All my preparation for New Year's Eve (which I didn't take time to blog about and really should have...you'd all have gotten a kick out of my nicknames for the monkeys at the gym...but I'm sure they'll come up again in future) was pointless. I'm never going to go out for NYE like that again (it was the first time I had ever done it btw). Just no point when there's good stuff on tv at home and it doesn't cost a fortune to be there...
So, I have about a minute to wrap up before I head back to work to start the new year.
I'm going to try to stay on track with blogging this year, and maybe mix it up a bit now and then. We'll see...
Wonder what 2013 is going to throw my way??
And just like that it's over. The Mayan long count calendar ended on December 21 aaaaaand hey look! We're all still here. Surprise!! ; )
All my preparation for New Year's Eve (which I didn't take time to blog about and really should have...you'd all have gotten a kick out of my nicknames for the monkeys at the gym...but I'm sure they'll come up again in future) was pointless. I'm never going to go out for NYE like that again (it was the first time I had ever done it btw). Just no point when there's good stuff on tv at home and it doesn't cost a fortune to be there...
So, I have about a minute to wrap up before I head back to work to start the new year.
I'm going to try to stay on track with blogging this year, and maybe mix it up a bit now and then. We'll see...
Wonder what 2013 is going to throw my way??
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