I know, you're probably wondering what on earth I mean by that, and I'm well aware that it's somewhat of an oxymoron, but it's also something very real that I've been encountering in my battle with body image and health for a while now.
I've had issues with self-esteem since the end of elementary school, and started coping with weight issues in my late teens, compounded by becoming ill at 18 and all of the ensuing issues and mental blocks I've had in recent years. The end result has been that I've become dangerously overweight, extremely unfit, and worst of all begun to hate myself for it.
The destructive encouragement I've begun to take special note of is coming from so-called 'supportive' family and friends. These are people that I've chosen to surround myself with in an effort to build myself up, to gain inner strength and guidance from in an effort to overcome my physical and psychological demons and ultimately get where I need to be healthwise.
Have you ever heard these phrases directed at you in a 'loving and supportive' mindset?
"You've got such a pretty face, you'd look so great if you lost all that weight!!"
"If you keep up the exercise you'll be so skinny, you'll feel so good."
"You haven't got health issues, you've got a willpower problem. You just need to stick with it."
"You're not going to find someone until you lose the weight, that's just the way people are now..." (that's a personal fave of mine lately, because apparently only sporty thin women are getting into relationships...no?)
There are others, but these are this main few that I've been dealing with lately.
So here's the thing, how am I supposed to feel positive about making a change in my life when it's clear that those nearest and dearest to me can't abide me as I am...and only wish for me to become some ideal they hold in their minds? And why should people that don't hold themselves to the same standards and expectations have the right to pass judgement on someone like me that's making an effort to better herself and gain personal acceptance and happiness?
In an effort to combat this destructive encouragement, I've enlisted a personal trainer who's a friend of the family. For the next 6 weeks I'll be engaging in strength training under his watchful eye, and also cardio and yoga in my other workouts. The benefit to taking his training on is that he hasn't had one negative thing to say, not one chastising word - his goal is to make sure I enjoy my training, feel good about the changes I'm making, and realize that life can catch up with the best of us, and that even with health issues that haunt me, I can still get HEALTHY - not once has he said the words 'thin', 'skinny', 'buff' or any of their synonyms.
So what's your take on this folks?? I look forward to your input.
Lots of love and constructive encouragement to us all!!!
