Why can't I just meet a nice Anglican man..?

So, do we all remember "Sean" from this post: http://gorgeousingreengrowth.blogspot.ca/2012/06/14-weeks-to-30-wednesday-recycling-or.html ?

Well, he's resurfaced.

I had finally accepted that whatever might have been wasn't meant to be. After 6 years or so or back and forth, attitudes, egos, hurt feelings and bs...that experimental evening pretty much crystallized it all in my mind.

Mid-November I got a perfectly nice text asking how I was, and I foolishly thought maybe he was attempting friendship as I'd suggested we attempt prior to our last encounter. After a few pleasantries he asked flat out if I was "interested in round 2?" Ah, the real reason for contact. Now remember, I never slept with him, but we did get close. At any rate, I politely declined, explaining that I'm no longer messing around or being silly, I have a baby god son now and I'm determined to start doing things right and want to date/find someone to settle down with. He said it was all good, and that was that. I was pretty proud of myself I must admit! All in all I figured I would never hear from Sean again, reasonable assumption - right?

On Dec. 15 as I was busily making dinner for an evening with my dad, and preparing for a night with AJ and baby A as well, I got a text from Sean. "Hey, looking for someone to go see a flick with tonight, hobbit mostly. Interested?"  He's never asked me to go to a movie as long as we've talked or hung out (sporadic though it's been over the years...) and this really knocked me for a loop. I had to say that while I'd love to see The Hobbit, I was booked back to back that night, but maybe another time.  Interestingly enough he replied that maybe he wouldn't see it that night after all and he'd let me know if he didn't go. Now, call me crazy, but you say you want to go to a specific movie on a specific night, and when I can't go say you might not go? That sounds suspiciously as though it was just an attempt to spend time together. Call me crazy...I said to let me know next time and mentioned a few nights over the holidays I was going to be free.

December 23rd text string:
8:38pm Sean: What you up to tonight?
9:16pm Me: Chilling. Was decorating my mom's tree.
9:16pm Sean: Ah. Was going to see if you wanted to hang out.
9:18pm Me: Oh, sorry I took so long to respond lol My phone was downstairs.
9:19pm Sean: I just started a movie. Just.
9:19pm Me: Ah well I shouldn't keep you! :)
9:21pm Sean: It's just on credits. What are you doing?

and it goes on from there... in the end he came over to watch a movie (because I was too lazy to go to his place, and the last time we had talked much he had a live-in girlfriend and I was in no mood to enter into an odd situation...)

He was SO NORMAL, and nice when he arrived. It was sort of disarming. He asked if I wanted help with the dishes I'd just put on to soak, and when I made cocoa he lingered and tried to be useful. He even complimented me on the weight I've lost and expressed interest in my activities and interests. It was downright bizarre.  Turns out he's moving closer, had just signed a new lease starting January 15th that evening. He and the girlfriend are totally quits, she's been living at a friend's place for ages, and he likened the breakup to a long term ICU patient...rough stuff, but apparently they're still friends (because I *really* care?!).  So we settled in with cocoa to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, because hello it's a classic! It didn't take long for him to cuddle up and before long he asked if I wanted to lay down and relax. I've now learned that couches - especially smaller "condo sized" models - are not really great for 2 adults to lie comfortably on. But I will admit that it was very nice and cozy, and felt all relationship-ey. He didn't make any moves, we joked about the movie and laughed and had fun...it was really nice...

After the movie he made a move, and I allowed it because I'll admit I wanted to kiss him and there was definitely a moment. But I stuck to my guns on my limits like I'd told him in November, and when he questioned why I said simply "what kind of girl would I be if I didn't stick to my principles?" and to his credit he just agreed, and went back to kissing me. I even said I was so content I could fall asleep right there and he indulged me for a while...another surprise.

So, this all sounds promising and respectful and like things might actually have potential right?? Except after that I didn't hear from him at all. I went a full week without a word from him...and the friend I was going out with for New Year's eve had an extra ticket, so I figured I'd run with the ball on this and ask him on the 30th if he had plans. Turns out he didn't but had friends to check with and would get back to me...and he didn't. When I messaged him he said he forgot to get back to me and was going to just hang out with friends. Now, who turns down a free ticket to a party downtown on New Year's eve with a woman they've expressed interest in merely a week before?  All I can think is that he actually thought he could sweet talk me into breaching my boundaries that night, and when I didn't he decided it wasn't worth the effort. I don't want to be negative, but that's the only way I can make this work in my head, especially when I messaged him today to ask if he'd been to see The Hobbit in the end and his response was "I did. It was good." Nice. Just a stupid little thing...but...do I respond if he ever messages again, or ignore him? Do I message him at some point and act totally casual and like I don't care? I really really REALLY don't know what I'm doing with a situation like this, but I'm fairly sure it's not one I want to be in.

I think he's going to keep popping up as long as I let him, and in the end he's not the right guy for me. I want to be with a man of faith, preferably someone who shares my faith because it's such an important part of my life. Someone that doesn't say it's not any fun not rounding the bases when I say I want to keep things at a certain level...we're not 15...are we?!

I'll have to think on this, but not too much. If I think about it too much I'll find a way to rationalize staying in touch or making a decision I'll regret, and that's not worth it at all.

Why can't I just meet a nice Anglican man?!?! Well, a nice man in general at this point...sheesh!