When every little thing pisses you off...

What do you do when every little thing gets under your skin and drives you crazy?

Work today flew by, and kept me on my toes, which was good - who doesn't love it when Monday ends swiftly?

Even going outside at lunch in the drizzle when I forgot my umbrella wasn't that bad, because I was able to read for a little bit before heading back to the office.

The entire day was actually fine, until I walked out the doors of the hospital at 4:35pm and it was black and pouring rain. I love rain, everyone who knows me can attest to that...hell, I even look forward to rain in Dublin whenever I'm over there during spring or fall (best times of year to visit Ireland in my opinion by the way). So what's the deal?! From the moment I stepped off the 155 bus to wait for the C3 community shuttle, I just *knew* that the evening was shot, no matter what else happened. Talk about a self fullfilling prophecy. :(

The community shuttle didn't come, well...it went down the hill and then never came back up. The one that came after it almost drove past me, and then claimed he didn't hear me ring the bell for my stop so almost blew past it. My umbrella was leaking as well....since when do umbrellas leak?? 

I didn't take this photo, but this is what it looks like out there this evening...it is cold, and POURING rain. So what did cranky little old me do? I drove up to the Sears Clearance Centre, under the misguided notion that I might be able to find a headboard or an a/v stand, or even a new set of sheets - SOMETHING to make me feel like I'd done something this evening. Nevermind the fact that I accomplished a huge amount of things at work today, and I have dozens of things I should be doing at home, no, I needed something else.

I keep trying to find things to feel grateful about, but I keep coming up against my own negativity...despite being aware of the fact that I'm incredibly blessed in my life in so many ways.

So, tonight, I am going to make a concerted effort to find 3 things that I am truly grateful for, and I'm going to focus on them for the next 24 hours if I feel negativity creeping up on me.

1. Opportunity. I was given the opportunity to go to an amazing conference related to my career last week. As a result, I have many, many new things to think about and process that should enable me to become more efficient and focused in my work. This renewed efficiency and focus will then hopefully lead to increased satisfaction at work, or at least less frustration with myself and my skillset, and eventually a more balanced sense of self.

2. Healthcare. In August I had a migraine which presented different from many of the other headaches I've had over the last 23 years of suffering from these wondrous little brain gems. It resulted in me making the quick walk across the lobby to the ER at work, and getting examined by a resident, and consequently having a referral sent to the Rapid Access Neurology Clinic at Eagle Ridge Hospital. The neurologist was confident that everything was completely normal, made a few recommendations on supplements I could try taking, and put in a request for an MRI angiogram at the earliest opening. Well, that opening is this Friday at 8pm. I have to say, even though I'm reasonably certain that there is nothing wrong  (I've had a head CT done in the past and nothing abnormal showed up, and I haven't had any extreme migraines since the episode in August), I'm nervous and stressed. This may or may not be playing a part in the mood I seem to be in tonight...but, all the same, I am incredibly grateful that this sort of diagnostic testing is available and that the physicians I have dealt with have not been dismissive or apathetic. Nothing to do but wait and see what the tests say eh?

3. Knowledge Network. Ok, this one is silly, but as I sit here trying to come up with profound things to be greateful for...public broadcasting comes to mind. Yet again, the Knowledge Network is playing one of he dozen or so programs hosted by Neil Oliver, an adventurous little Scotsman with longish hair and a penchant for the ancient (which helps in the field of archaeology no doubt! lol). This fellow is just so engaged in every aspect of the topics he presents on, not al of which focus on archaeology...and there's just something soothing about listening to his brogue and the passion as he shares with the world that which has captivated him. I have to say, I end up captivated too! Tonight's program is about Stonehenge, what a topic...and neolithic tombs - which I've visited in Ireland, so it makes it all the more real and immediate to me.

Right, so, there we go...3 things I'm grateful for. What do we think folks? I'm going to attempt to focus on these 3 things for the next day or so, as I finish preparing for the big Board meeting at work Wednesday morning. I pray that I am able to find a small space in my mind to establish a bastion of positive energy as we move into the long, dark, wintery bleakness...and hopefully grow that, or at least not turn all the way to the winter doldrums and grumps this year.

17 days til Australia!!!

Well, it's actually happening...I depart for Australia in 17 days and 14 or so hours.

It's strange to think that less than 6 months ago I had no inkling whatsoever that I would be in a new career, preparing for a trip to the other side of the world. 

I thought today would be a good day to re-enter the world of blogging, as it's my 32nd birthday today, and I'm trying to turn over a new leaf with regards to more an a few things.

My new career is demanding, somewhat stressful (mostly owing to the sharp learning curve and the fact that I've only been there...let's see...just over 11 weeks now. Wow...there are days it feels like forever, as though I should already be proficient at my job and not be making any mistakes - and then I remember...it hasn't even been 3 months yet! AND on top of that, we have a new President & CEO who started this week, so I'm adjusting to him, and we're each learning the other's style and rhythms. Add to that the fact that I had to plan, coordinate and ensure the smooth running of a Board committee meeting as well as a Board orientation presentation and hospital site tour this week, and have to finalize preparations for a full Board meeting which is happening on Wednesday ... Well, I'm completely wiped.

That being said, what we do saves lives down the road, as trite as that sounds. The Royal Columbian Hospital is a remarkable place, and it's great having the opportunity to work at the hospital I was born in and have had the benefit of being treated in more an a few times...as well as maaaaany family and friends over the decades. I just need to keep my head on straight, and remember that this initial stage of newness will pass - I'm already feeling more confident about some of the smaller things, just need to get a system sped out for recurring tasks and contact. It's actually kind of exciting when I get the chance to step back and think about it, really look at what I've accomplished in a given week.

So, with all of that in mind, I have to start preparing for Oz!!!

I got suitcase last week (thank you Grandma for an early birthday present!!!), and I need to start pondering what will go into said lovely blue suitcase. 

I've been assembling a few little gifties for Rebecca, Lionel and their kiddos, little bits of Canadiana that are silly but since they're being amazing friends and opening their home and their holiday time to me...what's a gal to do but show her appreciation!!! 

I'll post more details about the trip as I get closer, but for the time being...I have to get out of my pjs, rouse Saoirse from her sentry post atop my feet, and prepare to leave the house.

Today my cousin Harley is playing rugby near our house, and I'm going to go relive a bit of our youth watching him play...it's been at least 10 years since I've seen a game, so it's high time I think! Tonight is a smallish dinner for my birthday with friends and family, so I'd best prepare for that too!

17 1/2 days...wow they're going to blow by quickly! 

So what do men really think about sex and when you have it?

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been back in the online dating world, trying to make things happen, with no success.

I had an almost encounter the other day with a guy I know from real life (back in the day at least...) who I've run into online a few times. I was optimistic about it, we were super flirty and having fun emailing and texting, but it looks like it's likely going to fade out for one reason or another. Too bad too, he's a great guy and he has these amazing blue eyes...and this cheeky smile, ANYWAY, moving on haha I'd have happily seen where it could end up but, life goes on, am I right?? : ) However, our conversations and the vibe the last time we messaged have left me pondering something that's been on my mind for a while now.

I'm curious what men really think about women and sex and when you have it and everything else. We all know the old conundrum...women are told to be empowered, feel sexually confident, pursue men, be in control of their sexual and romantic destiny in this modern era - but always keep in mind that if you have sex or talk about it too early, you're branded easy or a slut, and aren't relationship material that they would take home to meet the parents. I know from personal experience that in fact, you can have something more develop from an initially primarily physical connection. After all, if you weren't attracted to each other you wouldn't have hooked up in the first place, am I right??

I decided to take a look at some blog posts and articles on the subject, and men seem as divided as we are on the topic, but the slight majority seems to be in favour of more being possible even if you sleep together on the first date. Interesting...one comment I found particularly applicable on "would you not date someone because she had sex with you on the first date was this one:
34. JJ, 21, straight -
Only if the guy is shallow. He did it too." (from http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2013/08/100-men-on-would-you-date-someone-who-slept-with-you-on-the-first-date/)

How true! There are plenty of other comments in this particular article, by men (of different ages and histories) who dated and in many cases married and had a family with a woman who they had sex with on the first date. That being said, there are also plenty of comments talking about how they think a woman's easy if she does it, and wondering "who else would she sleep with" if she'll sleep with you? Now hang on a second boys, why is it ok for YOU to be easy...and are we not supposed to wonder "who else would HE sleep with" from our side of the table? This one in particular irked me...

28. Owen, 27, straight

That would be bad. Sex is a conquest thing, if you sleep with him on the first date. He doesn’t have anything to look forward to from you from there. Will probably leave you in the dust.

Nice. It's wonderful to know that it's all a contest!

I'm not saying I go out and have sex on the first date, I haven't even had a date in well over a year...those are the things where you go out and have awkward conversations with a stranger and eat things you don't really pay attention to right? Or get hyper caffeinated sitting in Starbucks making idle chit chat because neither one of you wants to be the one to look rude and say you have to go...right? ; ) What I'm saying is, I haven't felt the connection the last several first dates I've had, to even think of going that next step. However, I do feel like if you meet someone great, or you have a friendship that transitions to sex, then a potential relationship shouldn't be taken off the table. It's just disrespectful to apply such a gender bias to the situation, and it puts all of the onus on the woman to "maintain her purity" and "behave like a lady", when maybe you're both just really ready to go for it and see what happens. I don't know if what anyone else thinks, but that's where my head is at today!  As number 82 in the list said "Why not? That just shows you know what you want".

Another day, another year...where has the time gone?

Well, it's been ages since I had much to say, and it's been around a year since I had anything to say about dating/men...I have no blog fodder!! lol


The house is in order again following the holidays...well...mostly. The sewing room is a little chaos vortex all its own, so I'm not counting it in the process of organizing the rooms that people might actually see if they come over. That's my little bastion of madness haha Hmm that sounds a wee bit mad doesn't it?

Let me see...not much else to report, either goal-wise or in results. The goals remain the same as they were last year: lose about 30 pounds, hike the Grind, get organized and STAY organized, oh and maybe travel again this year since I haven't gone anywhere since Easter 2012.

That's it folks! One thing I'll do in 2014 is endeavour to stay on top of my blogging, and maybe get out on some more dates so I at least have amusing disasters to report on! ;)

Slainte!