Soooo...I think this will be the last entry regarding our confusing friend Sean (http://gorgeousingreengrowth.blogspot.ca/2013/01/why-cant-i-just-meet-nice-anglican-man.html and the others referenced therein).
I've tried messaging him casually a couple of times since Christmas, asking how his move was going...how his holidays were, that sort of stuff. I've gotten monosyllabic answers and brush-offs like "I'm still mid-move" (15 days after his move date hrm...).
So today I bit the bullet and sent him a text that I vowed to myself would be my last attempt to reach out and see where the heck things are at (considering we made out and snuggled and he was so awesome and it *seemed* like maybe there was something there after all these years...) after all, a gal's gotta know right?
So I said I was thinking of him and thought I'd say hi. He wrote back "Hi. I'm in unpacking chaos" So I said "Ooh brutal, I'd offer to help but I wouldn't be much help. If you ever want any company in the chaos let me know :) Think I'm off for a hot bath post snowshoeing" He said "I think I'll be ok, just a lot of stuff to move around". So I decided to wrap the convo up and said I was about to settle in for a movie post soak and hopefully he's organized enough to hang out sometime in the near future.
Sean: "Ok, but as friends. Hope that's ok."
What. The. @*$# ?!?!?! Seriously?!? He comes over and makes a move and acts all cuddly and interested and says we'll get together again, and 5 weeks later it's "just friends" as though I initiated or had the expectation of more????
So I calmly wrote back "Ah, ok, sure :) wasn't sure where we left it after Christmas. We had fun though, so it's all good. I'm going to get organized and make dinner though, and you know where to find me, so happy unpacking! :D" Suuuuuuuuure it was overly cheerful with a tinge of F*** off you bastard to it, but whatever, it is what it is!
Sean: "Sorry if you got confused. We hung out a little, and it was fun"
We ....I'm sorry "We hung out a little and it was fun"?! He decided to go when I wouldn't go past making out...does this sound like a mature 32 year old here? To me it seems like a jilted teenager sulking about not getting to round the bases (remember he's the one that used that analogy :p ugh).
So, I wrote back one final note before putting my phone down "Like I said, we had fun. We're good" That is the last message I will send to him. If he messages and wants to hang out I will think very carefully before doing so, and I will ONLY do so as a friend...but quite frankly, given our history it's just so not going to happen. We've been screwing each other around emotionally for 6 or so years, we're not going to ever be able to be friends in truth, and clearly he's not the right guy for me or he would have shown it over the years instead of trying to push my boundaries and then being a dick when I stopped him.
Time to find a man who's mature, intelligent, has a strong faith life, ambition and plans for the future, and one who appreciates the fact that I'm an opinionated, sometimes lazy, occasionally overwhelming but considerate, loving, nurturing, sarcastic, quirky, woman with a faith life she loves who wants a man to complement her life, not be her life. Is it too much to ask to meet a man who I can have endless conversations about either grave world issues or something stupid like tv characters, but still have a spark, romance, and at the end of the day just a companionable respect and friendship? Hmm...guess we'll see what God has in store for me this year eh?
Either way, I'm going to live by the following saying from now on when it comes to people in my life:
"We met for a reason: you're either a blessing or a lesson". I now realize that Sean was a series of lessons and I'm finally learning what I was meant to learn. :) That feels great.
Off to groan and moan about the muscle pain from my long snowshoe trek today...can't wait for next week's go round :D
