Soooo...it's been a while!! I got caught by the vicious cold bug that's going around, and I think I've developed allergies thanks to the abundant cottonwood fluff all over the Lower Mainland this month!! I've been down for the count for over a week, less than fun. : (
That being said, I've got some interesting updates!!
1) We listed the house for sale.
2) We delisted the house after freaking out about it, and will instead come up with a way for the 'rents to buy out my portion of the title. I'll be there another year by the looks of it. This is ok, because it means I can save a little bit more money for now.
3) I got vacation time approved to go see M & J in South Carolina over Labour Day weekend/first week of September. Woohoo!!!! SO looking forward to catching up with the boys :D
4) I went back to the gym, just before getting sick, so the desire to keep it up is there, just waiting for the body's abilities to catch back up.
5) A guy from my past resurfaced... Sean from this entry...
http://gorgeousingreengrowth.blogspot.ca/2012/02/music-and-memory-are-funny-things.html
I managed to learn a couple of things from our encounter, and I think that there's a reason I keep running into all of these guys from my past!!
A couple of months ago I met up with a guy that I've been communicating with for almost 7 years, always saying that eventually, when we were both in the country/city/whatever, we would give it a go...see what happened. Well, after 7 years of hype and talk we did in April. I'm not going to say it was bad, it was just...underwhelming. So much thought and bravado had gone into it that it really couldn't live up to expectations. I won't be seeing him again I can guarantee that. However, I'm starting to see a trend with the 'what if' men in my life...
Last night Sean from the aforementioned entry got in touch with me. That girlfriend he has? They're "on a break"...and he wanted to know if I still wanted to know what it was like to kiss him. Now, typically I'd say no...and when he attempted to initiate an encounter about 3 or 4 years ago, I shot it down. Last night though, I got the feeling that I needed to see what happened.
It was nice to hang out with him again, it's been a REALLY long time since we just talked or chilled out together, without flinging verbal daggers back and forth (although he claims there never were any but hey...perception...whatever LOL). The encounter was...frenetic...I kind of felt like he was in puppy dog mode, the way they quiver in excitement to show their affection to their owners, as if they'll disappear without proper adulation. Not exactly what I was expecting, nor what I'm used to. It wasn't bad though, just...interesting.
In the end it was a good experience, but it left me with a lot to think about. He said right off the bat that he couldn't have it 'mean anything' in any deep sense since there's a time limit on his relationship's 'break', and I can appreciate that. I know full well that when she gets back into the province they'll get back together. He was just experimenting emotionally. Funnily enough, I think of last night as a dating experiment myself...
I finally got to see what the chemistry was like with someone I've daydreamed about off and on for years, even when we were fighting I wondered about it. I was able to experience for an evening his undivided attention and what that meant. I have to say, I think I'm glad that we never ended up dating. Our timing was always off, and our personality types didn't REALLY gel properly, and physically well...the chemistry just wasn't really there...
When I did the postmortem with a couple of gals I know they said something interesting: "you can't move on to your future until you deal with you past, and it seems like you're getting closure on some areas of your past". Funny thing is, I was sort of thinking something similar...I kept thinking of him randomly over the years, wondering what might have been, how good would it have been, and other dreck. Now I know, it would have been fine, but we'd have driven each other nuts in the long run. He's not a regret or a 'what if' anymore.
OH!! And those things I wished I had the chance to say to him?? I did, and it felt good. Wow, is this what adult closure feels like? You get to try new/old things, make sure how you feel, and still get a tender goodnight kiss when you say goodbye...no regrets, no hard feelings?
I think I could go for this adult version of dating and relating...
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