Why do people lie online?
I'm starting to feel as though I may be part of a
floundering minority: the confused few who tell the truth in the online
world(s).
For the 2nd time in 5 or so months I had a first
date with a man who proved not to be the man in the photo I'd been conversing
with. Now, I'm used to men using old photos of themselves…prior to weight gain
or hair loss, but there's a huge difference between wishful thinking and
blatant falsification. The most
interesting thing in both instances is that they weren't using photos of guys
who resembled them at all, but neither photo was actually any better looking
than the actual individual who showed up. I find this REALLY confusing and
frustrating, anyone else with me on this??
Case 1: The guy I was talking to for a couple of weeks was
sweet, interesting, polite, and while he wasn't anything to write home about, I
thought that I'd meet up with him and see how it went. The photo on his profile
was a tall, lanky, moustached hipster type, fair skinned with brown hair. The
fellow who showed up at the restaurant was a middling height, patchy beard
bearing, stocky, bespectacled Hispanic man. He was here from El Salvador
working with Telus, learning new techniques for his company which Telus
outsources work to. As nice as he was, and as well as conversation flowed (a)
there was no spark on my end, and (b) he essentially started off our entire
interaction with a lie. I never
addressed it, but I never saw him again. I was totally flabbergasted, as I'd
never encountered such a blatant bait and switch before.
Case 2: A man started messaging me about a week and a half
ago, and we seemed to hit it off, and when we spoke on the phone there seemed
to be potential so we made plans to get together last night. I'd had qualms
when he wouldn't send another photo, as he only had one on his profile, and it
looked a bit young for a 40 year old…but I figured I'd wait and see, and
anticipated maybe a weight gain and some hair thinning. Once again, I waited
patiently for my date, and the man who walked up was NOT the one in the photo.
Instead of a 6' tall man with big brown eyes, brown hair and a bit of a baby
face for 40, I was approached by someone who was 5'8" at the most, blond,
balding (a lot), blue eyes, looked 45 if he was a day and just clearly was NOT
the person in the photo. He was polite and attractive in his own right, as well
as fit, so I'm utterly at a loss as to why he didn't use his own photo. The
only thing that I can think is that he's married, and that he's definitely
lying about his age. He also talked
about how he's house sitting for friends
in Richmond and can't wait to get back into the market, but that he also
travels a lot and often spends a week or two in Calgary – none of this was
mentioned prior to meeting face to face…coincidence? I think not.
It seemed to me that both of these men were trawling online
for quick fun, using all of the buzzwords that they thought would get them
somewhere with a local gal and not get them into any trouble. Am I crazy? I've
heard of men who have multiple girlfriends, the proverbial girl in every port…but
I think I'm finally starting to see the modern development of it…
What's a girl to do?!
