So what do men really think about sex and when you have it?

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been back in the online dating world, trying to make things happen, with no success.

I had an almost encounter the other day with a guy I know from real life (back in the day at least...) who I've run into online a few times. I was optimistic about it, we were super flirty and having fun emailing and texting, but it looks like it's likely going to fade out for one reason or another. Too bad too, he's a great guy and he has these amazing blue eyes...and this cheeky smile, ANYWAY, moving on haha I'd have happily seen where it could end up but, life goes on, am I right?? : ) However, our conversations and the vibe the last time we messaged have left me pondering something that's been on my mind for a while now.

I'm curious what men really think about women and sex and when you have it and everything else. We all know the old conundrum...women are told to be empowered, feel sexually confident, pursue men, be in control of their sexual and romantic destiny in this modern era - but always keep in mind that if you have sex or talk about it too early, you're branded easy or a slut, and aren't relationship material that they would take home to meet the parents. I know from personal experience that in fact, you can have something more develop from an initially primarily physical connection. After all, if you weren't attracted to each other you wouldn't have hooked up in the first place, am I right??

I decided to take a look at some blog posts and articles on the subject, and men seem as divided as we are on the topic, but the slight majority seems to be in favour of more being possible even if you sleep together on the first date. Interesting...one comment I found particularly applicable on "would you not date someone because she had sex with you on the first date was this one:
34. JJ, 21, straight -
Only if the guy is shallow. He did it too." (from http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2013/08/100-men-on-would-you-date-someone-who-slept-with-you-on-the-first-date/)

How true! There are plenty of other comments in this particular article, by men (of different ages and histories) who dated and in many cases married and had a family with a woman who they had sex with on the first date. That being said, there are also plenty of comments talking about how they think a woman's easy if she does it, and wondering "who else would she sleep with" if she'll sleep with you? Now hang on a second boys, why is it ok for YOU to be easy...and are we not supposed to wonder "who else would HE sleep with" from our side of the table? This one in particular irked me...

28. Owen, 27, straight

That would be bad. Sex is a conquest thing, if you sleep with him on the first date. He doesn’t have anything to look forward to from you from there. Will probably leave you in the dust.

Nice. It's wonderful to know that it's all a contest!

I'm not saying I go out and have sex on the first date, I haven't even had a date in well over a year...those are the things where you go out and have awkward conversations with a stranger and eat things you don't really pay attention to right? Or get hyper caffeinated sitting in Starbucks making idle chit chat because neither one of you wants to be the one to look rude and say you have to go...right? ; ) What I'm saying is, I haven't felt the connection the last several first dates I've had, to even think of going that next step. However, I do feel like if you meet someone great, or you have a friendship that transitions to sex, then a potential relationship shouldn't be taken off the table. It's just disrespectful to apply such a gender bias to the situation, and it puts all of the onus on the woman to "maintain her purity" and "behave like a lady", when maybe you're both just really ready to go for it and see what happens. I don't know if what anyone else thinks, but that's where my head is at today!  As number 82 in the list said "Why not? That just shows you know what you want".

Another day, another year...where has the time gone?

Well, it's been ages since I had much to say, and it's been around a year since I had anything to say about dating/men...I have no blog fodder!! lol


The house is in order again following the holidays...well...mostly. The sewing room is a little chaos vortex all its own, so I'm not counting it in the process of organizing the rooms that people might actually see if they come over. That's my little bastion of madness haha Hmm that sounds a wee bit mad doesn't it?

Let me see...not much else to report, either goal-wise or in results. The goals remain the same as they were last year: lose about 30 pounds, hike the Grind, get organized and STAY organized, oh and maybe travel again this year since I haven't gone anywhere since Easter 2012.

That's it folks! One thing I'll do in 2014 is endeavour to stay on top of my blogging, and maybe get out on some more dates so I at least have amusing disasters to report on! ;)

Slainte!